I love my cousin, and in most thing in my life she has been the rock that I rely on. What I say may hurt her a little bit if she reads this, but I do think she will understand. With my recent move to Michigan she has once again helped me by making me as comfortable as possible with her friends that have become very good friends also to me. I adore her, and I adore the friends that have come from such actions. It is just sometimes I feel like extra baggage that was invited on a technicality. I know that I am probably over reacting, but it is just the fact that I don't want them to feel like that towards me.
If they do not want me there, then I don't want them to feel like they are obligated to invite me. I am grown-up and mature enough to accept that they are her friends first. There is a reason that they became friends. Now, my cousin and I are related, but we are very different people. That is not an insult either because we have seen different things in this world to form the amazing people we both are. I just hope that with these new friends that I have met that it isn't that they stay friends with me just because of my cousin. I want to be liked and invited to these group events because of me and not an obligation.
Maybe I am just being overly insecure, and I do realize that is a possibility. I just hope that once my cousin leaves for school that I do not loose the only life lines in the friend area that I have in Michigan. Time will tell. I know that even if it is just that I am extra baggage, and all these people desert me... I will be okay. I'm a strong person, right? Plus, I could be totally wrong. I jsut don't put much faith in any possibilities anymore.
*Note: This was written on such date on paper with a pen. I am trying to do that first for my own personal reasons lately.
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