Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Arms vs. Shirts (7/25/2010)*

I think that during the time span of Mid-May that I was able to have some amazing conversations, and through the honestly of the situation I found out a lot not only about myself but about my friends too. To give a little background, without all the details, Brad**, was dealing with a few female issues. He was in love with a girl for six years who wasn't sure what she wanted during that time span. He seemed to be vaguely blind to the fact, so he's said something about her always keeping her an arm's length away.

It made me really think before replying to him, but I wanted this nice guy to realize that she wasn't interested. After a bit I replied to his text with, "You said she was keeping you an arm's length away. The fact that she is pushing you away instead of grabbing your shirt and pulling you closer seems to be a sign she doesn't want a romantic relationship with you. She's keeping that distance for a reason." Men, for as good as they claim to be, at getting hints in all actuality seem to be terrible at picking up the biggest of hints.

When a woman leads you on for weeks, months, or even possibly years.. something is off. In the specific case above it was just timing, but generally there are bigger issues that are there. Women, in my opinion, are generally very silly creatures that don't truly want to hurt someone that they are close with in ANY way. So, when there is a guy who is friends with a girl that holds them that "arms length away" it is generally to not play hard to get. It is the way to tell the friend that there is no more then a friendship there. There are always exceptions, but those are far and few between.

All-in-all, women are simple creatures. If they want a male friend to be more than a friend, then the arm's length distance will disappear. My way of seeing things is to grip their shirt and pull them closer. It may not in reality be so pronounced, as some people are more shy then others. Any woman who really wants a friend as more won't play hard to get for too long.

If it is through about simply, then this metaphor really shouldn't be too hard to understand. Men's idea is that the arm's length is just "playing hard to get," but what needs to be clear is such: playing hard to get lasts minutes, hours, or maybe a day or two. If it has been any longer than a week (MAYBE two), then she is sending you a very different signal to try and prevent hurting you. Don't hold on too tightly to the friend that is holding you at a distance.



* Note: Date written.
** Name change

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